You're earring is so big in my mouth
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
