Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
