she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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