If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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