he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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