One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Drunk is a universal language darling
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
