I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
