In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
