Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
