I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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