mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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