You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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