Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
