She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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