the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
