I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
