She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
