you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
