What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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