he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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