Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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