He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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