well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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