Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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