Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Randomize
