She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize