I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
