Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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