Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
