You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
