when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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