My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
