It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
