remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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