Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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