So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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