I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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