I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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