Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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