Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize