i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
