You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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