I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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