My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
