we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
