Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize