A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize