Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
NoShamevember. You game?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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