Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
