I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
