Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
