Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize