also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
