very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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