sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
