the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize