the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Damn victory sex feels great
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
