If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
