are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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