he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
