So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm too high and old for this...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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